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Excuses, excuses, plus BREAKING NEWS.

The Latest Plan – to simplify, remember? – is so damn complicated, and it bums me out. In my ideal world, my daily schedule includes a good 2-hour writing block, folding some laundry, straightening the...

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So glad you’re enjoying Spring Break! Bitch.

Dear Everyone I Know: So you’re in Vail/New York/Key-Fucking-West for Spring Break! How wonderful! For you, I mean. For me, it’s been one long “Feel-Good Movie of the Year!” via never-ending Facebook...

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Homework. Let me tell you where to put it.

The homework fairy visited again last night. His handwriting is as messy as the Pterodactyl’s, which is how we get away with it. Or maybe we don’t get away with it. I don’t care either way. I thought I...

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My daughter, the immigrant.

The 8-year-old Tyrant solves her own problems. When she noticed that her feet smelled like death, she took a Michael Kors perfume stick out of my purse and rolled the scent all over her toes. I had...

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A lot of interesting information, sometimes called an UPDATE.

“You need to update your peeps about how the manuscript is coming,” said Hot Firefighter Husband. Or he might have said, “You need to update your peeps about how the grass is growing.” The answer is...

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Summer Livin’ in the real world

The seasonal summer shower schedule has begun, and I’m not talking about the weather. Yesterday, Tuesday, I showered for the first time since Saturday afternoon.I would not have showered Saturday...

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Vacation Chronicles 2015, the prologue. Make some popcorn.

Guess what! We’re in Maine! The annual Vacation Odyssey has begun. But first: I owe you a confirmation that we have indeed added a third canine to the family. In my head right now I’m shouting the...

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Annual Vacation Odyssey, Part I: Mountain hikes and life lessons

Maine is a spectacular state in which it’s winter all year long. Sometimes the sun comes out for a couple of hours as a teaser, and you can wear a tank top, but then a cloud comes along to block the...

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Being adopted isn’t always easy for my babies.

When the Tyrant’s temper grabs hold of her senses, it’s like a rogue wave has struck the area. All must seek shelter except me, the mother, who must dive in and somehow calm the seas. She flails and...

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On loss, grief, and resurrection. And CrossFit.

I didn’t want to go. I felt creaky and unmotivated, tempted to crawl back into bed and spend Saturday morning watching HGTV. “Come with me,” said Hot Firefighter Husband. “I miss you. Let’s do it...

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